Day 3, Day 4, and now Day 5

I was wonderfully overwhelmed with the response I got from starting this blog. The words of encouragement and love from friends, family, and even some strangers have really, REALLY helped me through the first few days.

I read somewhere that the first four days are the hardest when kicking an old habit or starting a new one. It definitely hasn’t been easy, but I just keep going back to all of the messages I’ve received and it gives me a boost of much needed strength.

I can’t say thank you enough!

Day 4 was the hardest thus far.

For the first three days, my mom was in town, which made the transition into sobriety surprisingly easy. Not only was I distracted with fun, family outings, but I also had someone watching me 24/7. Not just someone, my mother; which, if you know my mother, you know it means I couldn’t have slipped up even if I really, really wanted to (which I didn’t).

Day 4 I found myself awake too early with not a whole lot to do. And that scared me.

One of my biggest fears, with all of this, is getting bored. Doctors and health nuts and Oprah talk a lot about people who eat out of boredom. I’m sure you’ve heard it before too; people who say they are always hungry, when really they just don’t have anything else to do, so they eat. Well, that’s how I am with alcohol. When I’m bored or don’t have anything on the calendar, I drink.

The weekends were always the heaviest drinking days because I had more idle time on my hands. I became a master at losing the better half of a Sunday in bottomless mimosas and American Spirits.

So what did I do instead this Sunday?

I went for a run. I OCD-cleaned my apartment (even the ceiling fans). I took Warner for a long walk. I taught myself how to make sautéed scallops and wild mushrooms. I went to church. I invested in a pound of red licorice. I watched the news. I went to bed at 10pm.

I’d be omitting some truth if I didn’t add “reminisced about the good ol’ weekends” on the list.

Sure, I missed drinking and cleaning, drinking and cooking, drinking and running (just kidding on that last one), but I finally started feeling present in my moments again and that feeling gave me butterflies.

When I went running, instead of focusing on how much my lungs hurt; I focused on how amazing LA’s skyline looked from the top of the mountain.

When I was cleaning, I didn’t forget where I put the Swiffer or accidentally leave some dust on the top shelf.

When I took Warner for a walk, we took our time, we (literally) stopped and smelled the roses.

When I was cooking, I taste-tested everything, and could actually taste it.

When I was in church, I could feel the worship in my toes and I thanked God for putting this challenge on my heart (I’ll touch more on that experience in a later post).

When I went to sleep, I knew I would wake up refreshed and inspired for another sober day.

Yesterday was definitely the hardest day thus far, but it was so rewarding. I was reminded, in a lot of little ways, why I accepted this challenge and how willing and able I am to complete it.

2 thoughts on “Day 3, Day 4, and now Day 5”

  1. I am very proud of you and the courage you have to write about smoking and drinking and the effect on your life. I certainly can relate on so many levels in my own life. I love your blog it is heartfelt and heartwarming! Maybe you should write book! Sending you light and love, Aunt Teresa

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  2. Those of us who have always had issues with food talk about a term “head hunger” and it is very hard to deal with……for me, more difficult than physical hunger. Fits some of your descriptions…..rears it’s ugly head when bored, or upset. I’m trying to learn to step back from the situation I’m in and analyze what is really going on. Then, making my decision on what to do. I’m happy for you……you can do whatever you desire. BUT….it is not easy

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