Where have I been?! It’s been quite a while since my last post. Frankly, I’ve been busy. I’ve been busy working!
Currently, I am on an airplane flying back to LA from Phoenix where for the last three weeks, I’ve been shooting a movie! It was an incredible three weeks and I can’t wait for everyone to see it, so keep an eye out for “Krampus: Unleashed” coming out this November!
Ok. Shameless plug over.
Last year, I did a podcast interview with a lovely gentleman by the name of JR Cruz (if you haven’t heard it, it’s still available to stream on iTunes…. Ok, last shameless plug, promise). During this interview, I talked about all things “year of sobriety”. We eventually got to the subject of rewards. This interview was towards the end of my sobriety and as I was reflecting aloud to JR and his listeners, we all realized something kinda funny and kinda sad. I had done this grand year of sobriety, and really had nothing to show for it. I started that year off thinking not only would I become a better, more mature person, but surely I would find love and my career in the process. Well, by November 2015, I was still unemployed and more single than I had ever been.The irony was honk-worthy and I did my best to pretend it didn’t bother me.
Fast forward to now. I’ve spent the first half of this year really struggling to find my social bearings again and have had some major lows as a result, yet, here I am finally feeling like a well-deserved, working actor.
Which got me thinking…. Why is that?
Well, you know how they say everything happens for a reason? That ain’t a lie.
I did a year of sobriety thinking that because I wasn’t “partying” I would surely reap the good-girl behavior rewards and get that oh-so-needed jumpstart on my career. Instead, I spent a year dealing with the most rejection I’ve ever experienced, both personally and professionally,…. stone-cold-sober. That sounds like enough to make a person walk away, and I almost did.
What I realized was this: Being sober helped open my eyes to a part of my being and belief system that I would have never, ever been able to tap into had I not quit drinking, lost my job, got my heart broken, etc. I learned so many important life lessons last year, and this year, I feel myself really applying what I’ve learned and seeing the benefits that come from that.
For example, in June of 2015, I blogged about hitting rock bottom and running to my friend, Abbie, for help. I was at my lowest point then and desperate to feel better, and Abbie suggested some hippie-dippy shit I normally would have rolled my eyes at, but because I was so vulnerable, I was willing to try anything to make all that hurt go away. And, it worked! I’ve been practicing meditation and manifestation and focusing on abundance and reading more about the power of the present moment, and I’ve felt a huge, wonderful shift in the process. I think a lot of the success I’m seeing now is because for the first time in my life, I can deal with what comes my way in an open, stress-free, positive light and I can finally and fully trust that God has my back no matter what.
If you’re feeling stuck or have thrown your hands up in the air screaming “What do you want from me?”, to a God you can hardly bring yourself to believe in anymore, I HIGHLY suggest reading any of the following (some of which I’ve suggested before): The Power of Now, A New Earth, The Alchemist, The Unthethered Soul, The Shack. All of these reads are inspirational and easy to understand and apply to your life.
I guess expecting to reap the rewards from a year of sobriety wasn’t wrong. My timing was a bit off, and Lord knows I have very little patience, (I’m working on it, I swear), but now that it’s all starting to pay off, it feels good, it feels right. God’s timing is funny that way, it’s never when you expect it, but it is always perfect.